Top 5 Prime Sports Relocation/Expansion Locations

With this summer's move of the Seattle SuperSonics to Oklahoma City, the ever-present threat of a team moving away from it's fanbase has been reignited. While there aren't too many teams in as imminent of danger as the Sonics were, it is interesting to look at some possibilities of future locations for new pro sports teams or new homes for established ones. To keep things from getting too complex, I've excluded intercontinental destinations for expansion. I'm also only including the three big leagues likely to expand, the NFL, MLB, NBA, and NHL. Not too many rules for this list, just one man's opinion.

5) Milwaukee, WI

Metropolitan Area Population: 1.97 million

League That Should Move Here: NHL

Reasons Why: Milwaukee is a larger city than you might think. It ranks 34th out of US media markets, higher than other sports markets such as Oklahoma City, New Orleans, and Salt Lake City. However, the size is not the reason this move would make sense. Cold weather markets tend to support hockey teams far better than teams in Southern markets. One of the newer additions to the NHL, the Minnesota Wild, ranked tenth in attendance in the league. Hockey fans in the northern Midwest, bitterly cold areas of the US, have a better hockey tradition and a better tie to the game. The Wisconsin Badgers, located less than 90 minutes away, have a hockey tradition that rivals most schools. The biggest reason this move would make sense though is the quality of the fans in Wisconsin. The Green Bay Packers fanbase is downright rabid. The Milwaukee Brewers, despite being located in a much smaller market than most teams, are 9th in MLB attendance.

Reasons Why Not: Can Milwaukee support a basketball team, a baseball team, a pro football team, and a hockey team in the region? While baseball attendance is good, basketball attendance is bad (the Bucks were 22nd in the league last season). This can be disregarded a bit as hockey makes more sense in this market than basketball anyway. What cannot be disregarded is that Milwaukee has a minor league hockey team, the Milwaukee Admirals, who barely drew in the top half of the league for fans this past season. Is the interest for hockey here strong enough?

Teams That Could Be Moved Here: Nashville Predators, Columbus Blue Jackets, Phoenix Coyotes, Florida Panthers

4) San Diego, CA

Metropolitan Area Population: 2.94 million

League That Should Come Here: NBA

Reasons Why: Yes, I know the Clippers were here back in the late 70's and 80's, but things have changed. The city is one of the ten largest in the United States and like there is regional passion for baseball in the Northeast and football in the South, there is plenty of love for basketball out West. The rivalries would be fierce, especially with the nearby Lakers. While the Clippers could/should move here, I would hope that San Diego could get a less dysfunctional/cursed/poorly-run franchise. There is enough money and enough people here to easily support three pro franchises. On paper, this looks like a pretty easy decision for the NBA.

Reasons Why Not: California fans are notoriously fair-weather fans. If a team's good, they're there. If they're bad, the team can't give tickets away fast enough. Speaking of fair weather, could the team convince city's residents that they should come inside to see a game on a beautiful day in San Diego. An outdoor arena could be an interesting idea for this market. Plus the team most likely to move here, the Clippers, would draw a far more lukewarm reaction. Also, after recently funding Petco Park, would the city be willing to fund a major arena?

Teams That Could Move Here: Los Angeles Clippers, Sacramento Kings

3) San Antonio, TX/Austin, TX

Metropolitan Area Population: 1.94 million/1.59 million

League That Should Expand Here: NFL

Reasons Why: Texas loves football. It doesn't matter if it's high school, college, or pro football, if it's a pigskin and a 100 yard field, they're on it. The Dallas Cowboys are the most valuable franchise in US pro sports. With a competitive team last season, the Houston Texans have come into their own, ranking 11th in attendance last season. Football fans in Texas are passionate and many of them have money behind them to make big things happen. San Antonio and Austin are located far enough away from both of these markets (3 hours from Houston, 4 hours from Dallas) that they can easily support a pro franchise. Austin is currently the largest city in the United States without a pro franchise in any league. The San Antonio Spurs have already found plenty of success even being in a smaller market. Helping all of this is the fact that San Antonio is one of the fastest growing cities in the United States. Either of these cities would be a great candidate for an NFL expansion team, but not both at the same time. I think there would be a huge public reception in both cases. This region of Texas is prime territory for more pro sports teams.

Reasons Why Not: Could the team survive being in the shadow of two more established teams, especially during the likely lean first few years post-expansion? Does the more artistic nature of Austin dampen the non-college fans in the area and make the team less of a fit? Other than that, this seems like a pretty good fit to me.

2) Los Angeles, CA

Metropolitan Area Population: 17.76 million

League That Should Come Here: NFL

Reasons Why: The Los Angeles area (including Anaheim) has: two NHL teams, two NBA teams, two MLB teams.... and zero NFL teams. As the second largest market in the country, it only seems to make sense that the largest league would at least have some presence here. It's too big of a market for the NFL not to take advantage of it. As long as the stadium is located somewhere close to money-rich areas of town or even downtown. There is plenty of love for football in Los Angeles. USC's football team is one of the most popular teams in the city. Both the city and the NFL would benefit from having pro football return to the City of Angels.

Reasons Why Not: The third time may not be the charm. LA/Anaheim used to have two football teams, the Rams and Raiders. They both moved for various reasons including sinking attendance and old facilities. If you thought San Diego has a problem with fair weather fans, Los Angeles is twice as bad. There are almost too many choices for LA residents and unless the football team is any good, fans won't be there. Frustratingly slow local politics also don't make this as appealing of a location as you might think. Not to mention that LA already has a pro football team in the mighty USC Trojans.

1) Las Vegas, NV

Metropolitan Area Population: 1.78 million

Leagues That Should Expand Here: NBA, MLB, NFL (in that order)

Reasons Why: I think this is almost inevitable, especially for the NBA, and if one of the major leagues enters the market the rest may follow. Las Vegas is one of the fastest growing cities in the United States, with plenty of money in the area. There are plenty of wealthy young sports fans who have shown that they don't mind dropping a few hundred or thousand dollars. Tourism is a huge part of the economy and visiting fans may be inclined to check out the team's games. Season ticket sales would be strong, especially amongst casino owners looking to impress big spenders. The city itself would attract star free agents to come and play in the city itself. A move here appears imminent for the NBA. The 2007 All Star Game, Summer League, and 2008 US Olympic Basketball Training Grounds were all hosted here. It flat out makes sense, and whichever team owner ends up with a team here will be very lucky indeed. This would be a smart move for the MLB and the NFL for many of the reasons listed above, but each has their own unique problems that I'll get into in....

Reasons Why Not: Associating sports with gambling is a messy issue in American sports culture. Any team located here will have to be extra careful not to get in bed with the local casinos. The mere juxtaposition of the two will cause endless conspiracy theories. Baseball and football each have major problems potentially moving to Sin City. Baseball sells itself on tradition more than any other sport and its fans have a long history of turning away from the game at the slightest suspicion of games being fixed. Not helping this are stodgy baseball owners unwilling to break the status quo or think in unique ways. Baseball is stuck in the past, while Vegas is a younger city of the future. The NFL has a similar, albeit smaller problem associating itself with gambling. The main issue the NFL would face is one of image. The league has had a major image problem in the last few years and reputation-minded commissioner Roger Gooddell may be unwilling to put players in a situation where they're likely to get into trouble.

Teams That Could Move Here: Milwaukee Bucks, Sacramento Kings, Oakland A's

HONORABLE MENTIONS (and why they didn't make the cut):

Anaheim, CA - NBA, NFL (fair-weather fans, attendance issues, congested sports area)
Brooklyn, NY - NBA, MLB (NBA is already moving here in 2010, no baseball team could ever replace the Dodgers)
Providence, RI - MLB (it's already a little too cramped here, is the population large/interested enough?)
Seattle, WA - NBA, NHL (not enough interest in either sport, team might have a cheapened feel in replacing the old Sonics)

See you next week with a random list of my choosing.
-Alex

Top 5 Odd/Funny Things You Might Not Notice When Watching This YouTube Video the First Time

Hey everyone,
Check out this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbad22CKlB4
Yeah it's pretty tame, kind of boring. Neil Sedaka doesn't really inspire a whole lot. Maybe you liked the song, maybe you didn't. Either way, this video is teeming with hidden oddities and bizarre things that you probably didn't notice watching it the first time. It also shows off a lot of differences between music videos today and in the 60's.

The items are in chronological order. No rules for this one, just enjoy.

5) Neil Yells at Someone in the Middle of the Song.

Time it Occurs: 55 seconds in.
If you couldn't tell he was lipsynching in the first place, watch closely at this point as Sedaka... supposedly in the middle of the song, turns his head, yells a few words at someone, before quickly swerving his head back and continuing singing. What was he yelling? I have no idea. Why did he decide to yell at that specific point? I have no idea. But this makes Ashlee Simpson's lipsynching look believable. It's pretty damn terrible.

4) Backup Singers? Barely...

Time: 1:54 to 2:04
And again, if you didn't realize he was lipsynching, surely you can tell these two are. They aren't even trying. I'm not sure they really know the words. The one on the right is especially bad. She giggles, turns around to talk to someone, looks down, fixes her hair. She does everything but move her lips and... you know, sing. At 2:03 you can even see Neil shake his head, probably thinking about the many ways he could kill them after the show. Can you imagine this type of thing on TV nowadays? Maybe as a bad parody...

3) That Dude's Either Really Bored or Going to Brutally Murder Someone

Time: 2:05 to 2:09
Usually people in the background of most music videos are smiling, happy to be there, or partying. This guy is the absolute opposite of that. He looks like he's either:
a) Emo
b) Going to strangle a baby
c) Bored as hell
d) All of the above.
Maybe he just doesn't like the song.

2) And She Can't Dance Either....

Time: 2:11 to 2:17
This backup dancer/singer can't do anything right can she? She figures she can't sing so she tries dancing... in the most shy, half-assed way you'll ever see. I'm just glad whatever mild swaying move she's doing didn't catch on in the 60's... It looks like she's trying to hide an erection. I'm really starting to wonder where they found this girl.

1) "That's a Gas, Man"

Time: 2:45 to 2:47
I'm not really sure who came up with that ridiculous phrase or how it came about. It doesn't really make a lot of sense. In any case, the awesome 6o's host guy is right. Just like most forms of gas, Sedaka stunk. Also, look at the picture at right. What's his hand doing in his mouth? Bizarre bizarre bizarre.

I'm out... A sports-related and far less random one coming up next time.
Later,
Alex
P.S. For anyone back at USC, I'm back tomorrow night.

Top 5 Weirdest Minor League Baseball Names

Hey!
Minor League Baseball is a staple of small towns around America. As small towns can get a little bit crazy, it's not surprising that some of these towns come up with odd names for their baseball teams. It's often all they've got, and naming something after it's major league affiliate can be extremely boring. For those of you unaware as to how the minor leagues work, they are basically support teams for MLB teams. They play at several levels, rookie, A (with many variations in terms of season length and level), AA, and AAA, with AAA being the closest to the major leagues. Each team in these leagues is affiliated with a major league team that can take its players at any time or send down players for development.

That's some basic background... here are the rules for this list:

1) What's weird to you may make perfect sense in that town's context. A name like the Cedar Rapids Kernels looks really odd at first glance, but when you consider that Iowa is known for it's corn the name fits the region. The Brevard County Manatees sounds like a dumb name too, but since the team plays in Florida they don't make this list. That doesn't mean their logo doesn't suck. Imagine a manatee trying to throw a fastball. I bet the players wearing that logo can't wait to swap jerseys.

2) But there are limits. The top team on this list sort of works given it's location in the US, but ultimately it's way too weird to not make the cut.

3) Putting yourself in someone else's shoes helps. Imagining myself rooting for the team in question helped determine who made this list and who didn't.

Alright, onto the list.

5) Fort Myers Miracle

Location: Fort Myers, FL
League: Florida State League (Advanced A)
Affiliated With: Minnesota Twins
Had Name Since: 1992
Why It's Weird: This name is weird because it doesn't make sense on several levels. If you were a fan of the team, think about how a "Go Miracle" chant just seems kind of awkward. Unlike other team names that don't end in an 's' (like Orlando Magic, Utah Jazz, Minnesota Wild, etc.) which are often ambiguous as to whether they're singular or plural, Miracle is explicitly singular. The Fort Myers Miracles would make a little more sense. Ironically, there is nothing miraculous about the Miracle's play on the field. They have yet to win a league championship. This name makes a little more sense when you realize that when the team was renamed the Miracle, they were the Miami Miracle. At least that name has alliteration going for it. This one doesn't have much.

4) Clinton LumberKings

Location: Clinton, IA
League: Midwest League (A)
Affiliated With: Texas Rangers
Had Name Since: 1994
Why It's Weird: Imagine that the Chicago Cubs, Pittsburgh Pirates, or Kansas City Royals changed their name to the Winners. Imagine if the New York Yankees changed their name to the Penny Pinchers. Imagine if the Miami Heat moved to Buffalo and didn't change their name. Clinton is not a king of much of anything. Including: winning (only 1 league championship 3 years before they had this name), lumber (the city was known as a major lumber center in the 19th century, but the forests have been majorly depleted since the 20th century began), and kings. This name is very out of date, and is a little delusional. Plus, it's dangerously close to the slightly cheesier Clinton SofaKings.

3) Everett AquaSox

Location: Everett, WA
League: Northwest League (A)
Affiliated With: Seattle Mariners
Had Name Since: 1995
Why It's Weird: This is sort of one of those names that you can just look at it and know it's a little weird. Red Sox and White Sox, if they weren't so throughly bathed in tradition, would be odd names. Say it out loud while spelling it right. "Go Socks!!!" I know some people say sports is really just rooting for laundry, but come on now... Without the tradition the name is just ridiculous. I might buy it a little bit if their logo was a blue (aqua) sock. But no, it's a frog licking a baseball. This just adds to the weird factor.

2) Jamestown Jammers

Location: Jamestown, NY
League: New York-Penn League (A)
Affiliated With: Florida Marlins
Had Name Since: 1994
Why It's Weird: To truly understand how weird this name is, check out some names that the team had to reject in a vote. The Furniture Makers, Jimmies, Lucys, and Steamers. Out of those names they did the best they could, but that's not saying much for their options. This name sort of has a cool alliteration going for it, but with a mascot made of a bundle of grapes, no clear or definite meaning, the name is just downright bizarre. Their mascot's name, by the way, is Bubba Grape, the Baseball Ape.

1) Montgomery Biscuits

Location: Montgomery, AL
League: Southern League (AA)
Affiliated With: Tampa Bay Rays
Had Name Since: 2oo4
Why It's Weird: Boy, this name is absolutely perfect regionally. It fits in well with the South, southern cooking, and the down home nature of Alabama. But even that isn't enough to keep this from being by a long shot, the weirdest name in minor league baseball in a crowded field. Think of it this way. Most sports teams have tough, intimidating, traditional, or regional names. Biscuits are soft, fluffy, and delicious. Throw on top of that that they're a side item too. I can't help but think of a player who just joined the team having to tell the local media "I'm proud to be a biscuit." This name is hilarious, bizarre, and without a doubt, #1.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Modesto Nuts (Somewhat regional name, but still pretty funny)
Kannapolis Intimidators (Actually named after Dale Earnhardt... seriously)
Altoona Curve (Gets their name from a famous horshoe curve in a nearby railroad)
Savannah Sand Gnats (They may not beat you, but they sure as hell will annoy the crap out of you)
Albuquerque Isotopes (Made-up Fact: Only 4% of Isotopes fans really know what an isotope is)
Asheville Tourists (I hope I'm never a tourist in Asheville)
Toledo Mud Hens (With their actual mascot... Mud-donna)
Inland Empire 66ers of San Bernadino (These guys seem to be channeling the nearby Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim... even though they're affiliated with the Dodgers)

Hope you enjoyed, a new post should be coming tomorrow night.
-Alex

Why You Haven't Seen a Post on Here in a Little While

Hi there! I'll keep this short.
I haven't had internet.
Expect two/three lists sometime between now and this Monday.
Thank you for your patience.
-Alex

Top 5 Most Overrated Disneyland Resort Rides

Hi again!
Hope your week went well. Thanks for the extensive set of comments people left. Always fun to have a little baseball debate.
My goal with this blog is to alternate sports and non-sports topics so that I can mix it up for the non-sports fan and the sports fan.
I'm a big Disney guy. Always have been, probably always will be. I grew up in Orlando and still have my annual pass from when I was 5 years old. Nowadays I own an annual pass to Disneyland. It' s something that's stuck with me, something that's in my blood. However, that doesn't mean that every ride is perfect.
This list is a little more subjective than my last one. Here are the rules for this weekend's list:

1) Overrated means overrated. It does not mean bad or terrible. It simply means that a ride is not as good of a ride as people often say it is. Keep that in mind because people often mess up the word, and some of the rides on this list that are overrated I do generally like.

2) If I haven't ridden it, it is not eligible.

3) 3-D movies count as rides, parades and scheduled shows do not. I don't have any real legitimate reason for making this distinction.

4) The rating is based on what is overrated for me, me being a 19 year old male who likes thrill rides but has a healthy respect for nostalgia.

5) The length of the line for a ride does have an impact on my view of what a ride is rated.

6) The Disney Railroad and Monorail are not rides (but probably wouldn't make my list anyway)

Strangely enough, not one of these rides are in the generally unpopular California Adventure. Let the games begin!

5) The Enchanted Tiki Room

What it's rated as: This ride/show is rated as a must-see for ''true" Disney fans visiting the park. It was the first attraction at Disneyland to use animatronics. The song is considered a classic and it is viewed as a hidden treasure in Disneyland. The lines aren't long, but the experience is viewed as important.

Why it made this list: First off, let me get one thing clear. Old animatronics and animatronics in general are overrated. They didn't fool me as a kid and they look awkward and jerky (and not in an endearing way). It's a bit sad to see some of these old ones nowadays because the difference is pretty large. Now to the ride itself... How nostalgic is it really? It's not based on a movie, the song is not particularly well known outside of Disney-philes. I don't know the characters, there's no real story, and it's way too long.
The real problem with this show is that it's reached the point where it has moved from nostalgic to flat-out outdated. For those of you who haven't been on it, the ride is "hosted" by four birds: Jose, Pierre, Michael, and Fritz. All four have outrageous, borderline offensive accents. The one that stands out is Jose. He does that annoying, phony accent with too many ch- sounds where they don't belong. It's not realistic, and it's downright obsolete. Not to mention the jokes are terrible, and the songs are difficult to listen to. Sure there are some cool things about this ride. The illusion of rain is one, the tikis are another. But generally, this is vastly overrated and is a ride that people convince themselves they like more than they really do.

4) Autopia

How it's rated: An oldie but a goodie. A ride that allows kids to live up to the fantasy of driving a car well before they can drive. Is it a great ride? No, but it's a good one and a solid way to spend time at Disneyland. The lines are generally pretty long.

Why it made this list: Wrong wrong wrong. This ride is not great, it's not good, it's downright bad. This is the one ride on this list that is simultaneously overrated and god awful. Where do I start? This is one ride where the line to get on is just as bad as the line to get off. Driving on the 5 Freeway to get to the park isn't as badly overcrowded as the "freeway" on this ride at the end. Plus the ride itself takes away the fun of the fantasy of driving. Kids don't fantasize about keeping a safe following distance (something the ride forces you to do), obeying a slow speed limit, and waiting. It's not that fun of a ride. Oh, and by the way, it uses gas too. So it not only sucks as a ride, it also pollutes.

3) Finding Nemo: Underwater Submarine Voyage

What it's rated as: A reimagining of a classic Disney ride. An update that banks on a major Disney/Pixar property. A ride that takes CGI and makes it real. Oh, and it's the longest line in the park, occasionally a not-at-all-exaggerated 3 hour wait. Not even a Dream Fast Pass gets you out of waiting for this one.

Why it made this list: On sheer line alone, this ride is clearly rated as a great new addition to Disneyland. But that's until you actually ride on it. It is downright boring. Slow-moving, takes 15+ minutes. If you've seen Finding Nemo, you've seen a longer version of this ride's story. But the worst part about this ride is that it totally lacks illusion. Sure the CGI characters are suspended in the water. Wonderful. But if I'm supposedly 1,500 feet underwater I shouldn't see the surface of the water. At the very least Disney could have built something on the sub to obstruct the view. Sloppy and shocking given the attempt at visual realism the rest of the ride tries to have.
Let me also say this. I'm a kid at heart. I go around Disney wearing a pirate Mickey hat. I do a different voice for each different ride. But there's a point where even I say grow up. Stay away from this ride if you're in college... please?

2) Indiana Jones Adventure

What it's rated as: One of the best rides in Disneyland. Immersive, exciting, adventurous. It's based on one of the best action heroes on the silver screen. The generally long wait time is a good indication of what people think.

Why it made this list: This is a case of a ride being solid but not spectacular. Overrated, but not overly boring. To get the positive points out of the way: Yes, this ride is really immersive. Disney added plenty of little touches to this ride that engage and envelop the rider. The line queue is done in the style and accordance with the rest of the temple and a temple theme. The special handicapped elevators that nobody really sees are fully themed. The ride intro and safety video matches the ride in beautiful black and white. The ride feels like a jeep traveling through a temple. Even when the ride breaks down, the vehicle still bucks and stops and starts like a stalling old car would. These little touches are inspired and are to be commended.
However, this ride is highly overrated for a few reasons. 1) Animatronic Indy looks stupid. He's jerky and unconvincing. Is it the best they could've done at the time? Maybe... but that doesn't mean it's good enough. If they can do Jack Sparrow on Pirates well, they can do Indy well too. 2) It's not really a big time thrill ride. It has some exciting moments, but the ride's intensity and thrill don't compare to other major thrills. (The Matterhorn, Space Mountain, Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, California Screamin', etc.) It just doesn't stack up. 3) The three different choices at the beginning of the ride is a good idea, but gimmicky. For those who haven't ridden it, at the beginning of the ride one of three random 'wishes/desires' is assigned to you. Earthly riches, knowing the future, and having eternal life. The idiotic believe that the ride really changes based on which door you go through. The only thing that changes is the color scheme. This is a halfhearted attempt at ride innovation. If the ride truly had three paths or at least three different and interesting ways to start the ride, this would be one of my favorites. As it stands, it's a gimmick and a generally useless one.
Overall the ride doesn't live up to its billing as an elite Disneyland ride.

1) Splash Mountain

What it's rated as: The ultimate flume ride. Themed as a briar patch, and following the story of Brer Rabbit from the controversial Song of the South. It is a great way to cool off, have a quick thrill, and (briefly) sing along with the always inspiring Zippa De Doo Dah. It is a big thrill ride, has the wait time and popularity to prove it, despite being stuffed in a relatively remote corner of the park. One of the best rides and the best water ride at Disneyland.

Why it's on this list: Anyone who has been to Disneyland with me before is shocked with this selection. I have done nothing but rave about this ride in the past. But a lot of this list is about putting emotion aside and really looking at a ride. I think Splash Mountain has managed to be as highly acclaimed of a ride as it is, because it uses audio-based mind control to distract from the ride's shortcomings as a basic flume ride. This ride may have the catchiest soundtrack of any ride I've ever been on. The simple phrase from one of the songs "Gotta be movin' along" was repeated ad nauseum for weeks after I rode on the ride. The crocodile who asks you to "Take him along" has this booming bass voice that gets stuck in your head. The songs are lyrically simple, catchy as hell, and ultimately, deceptive. I have no problem with a ride being both a great water ride and a musical of sorts.
But the songs distract from the fact that it's not truly a great flume ride. The pictures showing you in free fall on the log distract you from the fact that it's not truly a great flume ride. If you really look at it, the water ride element of this water ride is substandard. In my mind, a water ride has three major objectives. 1) Get you wet. 2) Give you a decent thrill. 3) Get you really wet. The ride gives you a solid thrill on the main drop and even a little bit on the dip inside of the dark portion of the ride. But Splash Mountain suffers from a major problem in retrospect. It doesn't get you very wet. In fact, it gets you the worst kind of wet state to be in, slightly damp. About 9 times out of 10, the ride ends with mostly everyone sitting high and dry. Splash Mountain should completely and totally soak you. Grizzly River Rapids, Disney's other water ride, doesn't screw this up. You are either soaked or wet as hell when you get off of that ride (depending on your timing). On Splash Mountain, you are dry, damp, or rarely, pretty wet. The ride fails in this critical aspect, yet nobody cares because they're too damn hypnotized by the music. This is still a great ride, but when you peel away the ancillary stuff, it is not at the level that so many people put it on. I recommend renaming it Moist Towlette Mountain or Damp Mountain in light of this. It takes the prize as most overrated ride for consistently getting me to overrate it.
On a side note, the ride makers were kind of assholes. They have this sign post towards the end with one path going towards Doo Dah Landing and another going to Catfish Bend. Sadly, there is no choice, the ride makes you go and only tantalizes you with the possibility of singing catfish. Jerks.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Soarin' Over California (It's not bad, pretty relaxing, but about 80% of the seats on the ride are at a weird angle to the screen.)

Pirates of the Caribbean (It should probably be on this list, but I couldn't bring my pirate-y heart to do it. Plus, it has an upscale restaurant in the middle of the ride, how badass is that? If the Blue Bayou counts as part of this ride, no way is it overrated.)

Star Tours (The ride's age is starting to show a bit...)

RIDES YOU THINK SHOULD BE ON THIS LIST BUT AREN'T (AND WHY)

The Maliboomer (Screw you, this ride is one of the greatest concentrated thrills you can get at any Disney park. 180 feet in four seconds + cast members who screw with your mind. Disney's wrong for removing it.)

Anything in Fantasyland (I don't think anything there's rated that highly by most people in my age range anyway)

Mullholland Madness (One of the most underrated rides in the either park actually. It's a little short lengthwise, but I have never felt more unsafe on a ride than on this one. The ride also subtly messes with your mind. There is no greater thrill/fear on a ride than the idea that you may be suddenly tossed off the edge. Disney tucked it away in a back corner of the park, and it doesn't get much love... but I think this is a must-ride.)


That's all for this week! I may or may not post something else on Sunday. Either way expect a new, sports-related top 5 sometime next weekend.
Thanks for reading!

The Top 5 MLB Teams That Had the Most Impact on Modern Baseball

Hey again.
Of all of the major sports in the USA, baseball has one of the longest and most interesting histories. Teams shuffle all of the time, the game has changed significantly in the years it's been around. The game has had to be saved several times, yet has endured. For this list, I look at the 5 teams that had the biggest impact on the history of modern baseball as we know it. There are a few conditions I've laid out for this list.
1) Records do not count. They don't impact the evolution of the game.
2) Players do. If a player makes history that changes the game, that team gets credit. I don't care if "it was going to happen at some point soon anyway". It didn't.
3) Being old or really really bad (or good) doesn't make you historically relevant. Just because a team has been around a long time doesn't mean it's made a big impact on the history and evolution of the game. Case in point, the Cubs aren't on this list because being terrible for 100 years doesn't mean you made an impact. Also, if the franchise doesn't exist today, it is ineligible.
4) Causation only gets you so far. The Red Sox are not more historically relevant because they traded Babe Ruth to the Yankees. The Yankees, however, are relevant for having Babe Ruth.
5) Not every impact has to be a positive one. There's one team in particular this applies to.

WARNING: THIS ARTICLE IS LONG! Glad we got all of that clear. Here's the list.

5) Pittsburgh Pirates

I'll tell you this much... the Pirates couldn't make this list for being good even if they wanted to. 15 straight losing seasons (and counting) has thrown that out the window. Admittedly, this list gets pretty shaky after the top 4, so there are probably a couple of team you could make a case for. Here's why the Pirates are my #5.

a) Had the first really smart general manager... and helped end a competing league.

Ever wonder why the Pirates are called the Pirates? They used to be called the Pittsburgh Allegheny's until in 1894, their GM started making some... aggressive moves. Here's a little bit of background. In 1890, second baseman Lou Bierbauer of the Philadelphia A's and a whole boatload of players jumped ship from the National League and American Association to join the Player's League. When that league folded, a lot of players returned to their NL and AA teams. Bierbauer did not however, he was instead signed by the Allegheny's. A cross league fight ensued with the Allegheny's winning and the A's manager calling the Alleghenys' actions "piratical". Hence the name. This fight ultimately led to the downfall of the American Association, one of the NL's earlier competitors. In another move in 1899, Pittsburgh plundered every star player of the soon-to-be-contracted Louisville Colonels for 4 unknown players. Yarrrrrrrr!

b) Broke baseball's humanitarian barrier.

This is a relatively small item, but having the great Roberto Clemente play for you is a big deal. Clemente, while by no means the first Hispanic or black Hispanic player, faced a certain degree of racism from his teammates over the years. His work off the field, however, posthumously earned him the Congressional Gold Medal and the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 2002 and has an award named after him. He's considered one of the great humanitarian athletes ever to play any sport.

4) Chicago White Sox

This team may surprise someone who has a more modern knowledge of the history of baseball. After all, the White Sox are the second most important team in their own city. They don't have a lot of World Series banners to their name. Their title drought was longer (albeit less painful) than the Red Sox's cursed 86-year one. However, Chicago's second team has had the most impact on the game. Here's why they're #4:

a) They nearly ended baseball as we know it.

For those of you who don't know what I'm referring to, Google or Wikipedia the 1919 World Series or the Black Sox Scandal. Or read "Eight Men Out" or see the movie of the same name. To sum it up quickly, the White Sox threw a World Series after being paid off by gamblers, the public found out, baseball looked really bad and attendance suffered. Baseball nearly folded. As I said before, not every impact on the game has to be a positive one. You don't get any more negative than nearly destroying a league and certainly crippling it.

b) They created the commissioner's office.

To save face for the Black Sox scandal, Major League Baseball appointed Judge Kenesaw Mountain Landis it's first commissioner of baseball. Pretty big change, wouldn't you say? Slight extra negative credit for the White Sox that Landis was a jerk, upheld the color barrier, and protected baseball from competition. I'm not sure if any team has had as much of a negative impact as these guys did.

3) New York Yankees

You may be surprised seeing the Yankees this low on the list. After all, they're one of the most successful professional sports franchises to ever exist. Unfortunately for the Yankees, winning over 20% of all of the World Series doesn't really qualify you for this list. Neither does the sheer amount of money they've spent, the amount of managers they've hired and fired, nor just generally being assholes. That doesn't mean there aren't several reasons why the Yankees make this list.

a) The Bambino.

Babe Ruth is arguably the most legendary player to ever play the game. He's larger than life, mythic, and just plain important. Ruth isn't on here for hitting a lot of home runs. The Sultan of Swat did much more than that... He saved baseball. The White Sox nearly destroyed it and the small-ball tactics of the day didn't help. Babe and his mighty bat came along and picked the game back up. He and he alone drove crowds back to the parks. He also became the first baseball player to really be a major national celebrity.

b) The House That Ruth (and the Yankees) Built.

Baseball stadiums are not generally very permanent. Those that have stood the test of the time generally must have done something right. For the Yankees, that something that was done right was capacity. Building a stadium of that magnitude set up baseball to grow over the decades to come. The fact it lasted as long as it did is a testament to it's impact on baseball and the parks where it's played. It doesn't have to be the best stadium to have the biggest impact.

c) Bringing America back... sort of.

After 9/11/2001, America was reeling. After a short hiatus, baseball and football resumed play and helped rally America in the face of recovering from a major catastrophe. Both sports still fight over which one had more to do with helping Americans get back to normal life. I personally remember baseball having a greater impact at the time, mainly because of the 2001 World Series. The 7-game showdown in 2001 between the Yankees and Diamondbacks was for my money the greatest World Series ever to be played. There are so many unforgettable moments and faces you can pick out from that series. Rudy Giuliani, George W. Bush, Byung Hyung Kim, Mr. November, Mariano Rivera, Randy Johnson, Curt Schilling, Luis Gonzalez. Yeah, the Yankees didn't win, but their mere presence was enough to make an impact on the city's psyche. This didn't have as much of an impact on the game itself... but I felt like including it anyway so take that and shove it.

2) St. Louis Cardinals

Ahh yes, the Cardinals. Gems of the Midwest. The Cardinals aren't here for winning the most World Series in the NL. They aren't here for having one of the worst WS winners ever (2007 Cardinals). They aren't here for driving the hapless St. Louis Browns and Bill Veeck out of town. Here's why they are sitting pretty at #2:

a) No Cardinals, no free agency.

Without getting into too much detail, baseball operated essentially as slavery for years. The Reserve Clause, in place until 1975, kept players from moving unless the team let them. The clause allowed teams to automatically re-sign players to a new contract every season. There were no 6 year deals, only a string of one year deals with the same salary. In 1969, Curt Flood realized that this was a pile of crap. He took baseball to court (eventually the Supreme Court) fighting the reserve clause and his potential trade. Although he lost the case, he inspired players to rally and keep pressing the issue. Eventually, in 1975, the reserve clause was abolished and free agency was established. This has had a wide-ranging effect on the game and salaries. It has made off-season baseball interesting, gives hope to every fan (except maybe Cubs fans), but also makes rooting for your team often a bit too much like rooting for laundry. You gotta take the good with the bad.

b) Went along for the ride in 1998 - baseball's Summer of Love.

This entire section revolves around one Cardinal and his resurrection of baseball in 1998. Mark "I don't want to talk about the past" McGwire (with supporting actor Sammy Sosa) starred in the hit summer movie of 1998, "Chasing Roger Maris". The movie was a big box office success, with McGwire and Sosa helping fans forget all about the World Series being canceled in 1994 and reviving the game. McGwire smashed Maris' single season home run record of 61 with 70 bombs of his own. Forget about the fact that both McGwire and Sosa were on 'roids at the time and soon after disgrace the game. This was a big shot in the arm for baseball, and it helped bring fans back to the ballpark big time. It's not just chicks who dig the long ball.

c) Created the Farm system.

Branch Rickey had a huge impact on the game of baseball. He was behind Jackie Robinson's barrier breaking feat and drafted Roberto Clemente. This was no different. While working with the St. Louis Cardinals, Rickey established an extensive minor league "farm" system that allowed the Cardinals to develop younger players while maintaining their rights. This allowed the Cardinals to form the infamous Gashouse Gang and create a winning club, but, more importantly, changed the way baseball integrated younger players. The commissioner of baseball tried to stop Rickey and failed. This laid the groundwork for the system we have today.

1) Brooklyn/Los Angeles Dodgers

Before I get into why the Dodgers clearly have had the most impact on the game of baseball, let me preface this with a few things. I'm not a Dodgers fan. I go to school in LA, but I'm from Santa Fe and a D'backs guy all of the way. I think the Dodgers have one of the worst fan experiences at Dodger Stadium I've ever had in the majors (and I've been to Tropicana Field). Dodgers Stadium is one of the most overrated stadiums ever. The "I'm going to show up for 5 innings" fans suck. The whole place feels like it's on lockdown. But as far as impact on the game of baseball goes, they have absolutely no equal. Here's the Dodgers impressive resume.

a) Responsible for the Existence/Relocation of Nine Current Major League Teams

When the Dodgers moved from Brooklyn to Los Angeles in 1958, they didn't just break a lot of hearts; they opened the Southwest and the West Coast to the major leagues. In doing so, they paved the way for the placement nine of baseball's current 30 teams. Let's count (going sort of counterclockwise)... Seattle Mariners, Oakland A's, San Francisco Giants, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, Los Angeles Dodgers, San Diego Padres, Arizona Diamondbacks, Colorado Rockies, and the New York Mets (someone had to replace the Dodgers and Giants). For those nitpickers who say that the Giants and Dodgers moved together, you're right, but the deal was really engineered by Walter O'Malley. The Giants just tagged along. As far as I know, no other single team has had this type of impact.

b) Integrated Baseball
The impact this move has had on the game is immeasurable. The color barrier and baseball's segregation was an ugly part of the game's past. The Dodgers and Jackie Robinson shattered this when Robinson took the field April 15 of 1947. His courage, determination, perseverance, and remarkable dignity in the face of ignorance and racism helped baseball advance. Jackie paved the way for all of the great African American players that would follow in his footsteps. The game would not have been the same without his contribution.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Texas Rangers (A-Rod's contract)

Boston Red Sox (Winning the First Modern World Series)

Boston/Milwaukee/Atlanta Braves (Inspiring O'Malley to Relocate, Sort of Setting Relocation in Motion)

TEAMS YOU THINK SHOULD BE ON THE LIST BUT SHOULDN'T (AND WHY)

Chicago Cubs (Being arguably the worst professional sports franchise ever to exist doesn't mean you impacted history in a meaningful way, neither does having arguably the best ballpark in Major League Baseball)

Boston Red Sox (Being cursed and almost there year after year doesn't make you historically impactful, neither does having the best ballpark I've ever been to, nor does being stupid by trading away Babe Ruth)

Philadelphia Phillies (Having the most losses of any team ever doesn't cut it, neither does throwing the most things at players, nor does booing everyone, and having the most obvious name doesn't help your case either)

Hope you enjoyed the article. Look for a much shorter one on a totally different topic next weekend.
Til then...
Alex

Welcome to the Jungle

Hey you!
Yes, I mean you. The guy/girl who's reading this in your underwear/at work/at home/in an insane asylum.
Welcome to my blog. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Alex, and I'm a junior at USC majoring in broadcast journalism.
Let me explain what's likely to be in this blog. As you might tell from the title, it'll be a lot of Top 5 lists. Some will be interesting, some will be funny, some will make little sense, and still some will be dumb. My plan is to post one Top 5 list every week. Because I'm a sports nut, a lot of these lists will have to do with sports (but certainly not all of them).
If you don't agree, post it in the comments and I'll try to respond.
Otherwise I hope you enjoy.
Look for the first entry in just a few minutes.
Later,
Alex