Top 5 Weirdest Minor League Baseball Names

Hey!
Minor League Baseball is a staple of small towns around America. As small towns can get a little bit crazy, it's not surprising that some of these towns come up with odd names for their baseball teams. It's often all they've got, and naming something after it's major league affiliate can be extremely boring. For those of you unaware as to how the minor leagues work, they are basically support teams for MLB teams. They play at several levels, rookie, A (with many variations in terms of season length and level), AA, and AAA, with AAA being the closest to the major leagues. Each team in these leagues is affiliated with a major league team that can take its players at any time or send down players for development.

That's some basic background... here are the rules for this list:

1) What's weird to you may make perfect sense in that town's context. A name like the Cedar Rapids Kernels looks really odd at first glance, but when you consider that Iowa is known for it's corn the name fits the region. The Brevard County Manatees sounds like a dumb name too, but since the team plays in Florida they don't make this list. That doesn't mean their logo doesn't suck. Imagine a manatee trying to throw a fastball. I bet the players wearing that logo can't wait to swap jerseys.

2) But there are limits. The top team on this list sort of works given it's location in the US, but ultimately it's way too weird to not make the cut.

3) Putting yourself in someone else's shoes helps. Imagining myself rooting for the team in question helped determine who made this list and who didn't.

Alright, onto the list.

5) Fort Myers Miracle

Location: Fort Myers, FL
League: Florida State League (Advanced A)
Affiliated With: Minnesota Twins
Had Name Since: 1992
Why It's Weird: This name is weird because it doesn't make sense on several levels. If you were a fan of the team, think about how a "Go Miracle" chant just seems kind of awkward. Unlike other team names that don't end in an 's' (like Orlando Magic, Utah Jazz, Minnesota Wild, etc.) which are often ambiguous as to whether they're singular or plural, Miracle is explicitly singular. The Fort Myers Miracles would make a little more sense. Ironically, there is nothing miraculous about the Miracle's play on the field. They have yet to win a league championship. This name makes a little more sense when you realize that when the team was renamed the Miracle, they were the Miami Miracle. At least that name has alliteration going for it. This one doesn't have much.

4) Clinton LumberKings

Location: Clinton, IA
League: Midwest League (A)
Affiliated With: Texas Rangers
Had Name Since: 1994
Why It's Weird: Imagine that the Chicago Cubs, Pittsburgh Pirates, or Kansas City Royals changed their name to the Winners. Imagine if the New York Yankees changed their name to the Penny Pinchers. Imagine if the Miami Heat moved to Buffalo and didn't change their name. Clinton is not a king of much of anything. Including: winning (only 1 league championship 3 years before they had this name), lumber (the city was known as a major lumber center in the 19th century, but the forests have been majorly depleted since the 20th century began), and kings. This name is very out of date, and is a little delusional. Plus, it's dangerously close to the slightly cheesier Clinton SofaKings.

3) Everett AquaSox

Location: Everett, WA
League: Northwest League (A)
Affiliated With: Seattle Mariners
Had Name Since: 1995
Why It's Weird: This is sort of one of those names that you can just look at it and know it's a little weird. Red Sox and White Sox, if they weren't so throughly bathed in tradition, would be odd names. Say it out loud while spelling it right. "Go Socks!!!" I know some people say sports is really just rooting for laundry, but come on now... Without the tradition the name is just ridiculous. I might buy it a little bit if their logo was a blue (aqua) sock. But no, it's a frog licking a baseball. This just adds to the weird factor.

2) Jamestown Jammers

Location: Jamestown, NY
League: New York-Penn League (A)
Affiliated With: Florida Marlins
Had Name Since: 1994
Why It's Weird: To truly understand how weird this name is, check out some names that the team had to reject in a vote. The Furniture Makers, Jimmies, Lucys, and Steamers. Out of those names they did the best they could, but that's not saying much for their options. This name sort of has a cool alliteration going for it, but with a mascot made of a bundle of grapes, no clear or definite meaning, the name is just downright bizarre. Their mascot's name, by the way, is Bubba Grape, the Baseball Ape.

1) Montgomery Biscuits

Location: Montgomery, AL
League: Southern League (AA)
Affiliated With: Tampa Bay Rays
Had Name Since: 2oo4
Why It's Weird: Boy, this name is absolutely perfect regionally. It fits in well with the South, southern cooking, and the down home nature of Alabama. But even that isn't enough to keep this from being by a long shot, the weirdest name in minor league baseball in a crowded field. Think of it this way. Most sports teams have tough, intimidating, traditional, or regional names. Biscuits are soft, fluffy, and delicious. Throw on top of that that they're a side item too. I can't help but think of a player who just joined the team having to tell the local media "I'm proud to be a biscuit." This name is hilarious, bizarre, and without a doubt, #1.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Modesto Nuts (Somewhat regional name, but still pretty funny)
Kannapolis Intimidators (Actually named after Dale Earnhardt... seriously)
Altoona Curve (Gets their name from a famous horshoe curve in a nearby railroad)
Savannah Sand Gnats (They may not beat you, but they sure as hell will annoy the crap out of you)
Albuquerque Isotopes (Made-up Fact: Only 4% of Isotopes fans really know what an isotope is)
Asheville Tourists (I hope I'm never a tourist in Asheville)
Toledo Mud Hens (With their actual mascot... Mud-donna)
Inland Empire 66ers of San Bernadino (These guys seem to be channeling the nearby Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim... even though they're affiliated with the Dodgers)

Hope you enjoyed, a new post should be coming tomorrow night.
-Alex