Top 5 Places to Eat On or Around USC

No big intros, lets just get to the list.

5) Chano's

Why it Made this List: The late night eating options around USC's campus generally consist of: McDonald's, Taco Bell, Jack in the Box, Denny's, Subway and Del Taco. By merely being open until 3 am just about every night and not being part of a huge chain of restaurants, Chano's endears itself to the party crowd on the Row. The food always hits the spot for those willing to make the drunken, treacherous trek to go and get it. Make sure you wash it down those tacos with an Horchata or a Champurrado.
Shortcomings: Being open late at night and a chain restaurant are pretty much the only reason this one's on the list. The quality of the food isn't the greatest and it's certainly not the healthiest option. It's also kind of a sketchy location late at night, but then again, what location late at night near USC isn't?

4) Galen Center

Why it Made this List: First let me clarify... USC has two Galen Centers. The Galen Center is the new stadium across Figueroa where the Trojans plays home basketball and volleyball games. Galen Center is the oddly placed building behind Heritage Hall (USC's athletic nucleus) where USC's varsity athletes go to dine. This hidden spot is one of campus' best kept secrets because while it's exclusive to athletes during dinner, its open to the public at night. The food is fit for a hungry Trojan athlete. They have delicious hamburgers with fresh fries, juicy "daily grille" specials, and plenty of protein overall. The best part about Galen Center though is the atmosphere. The room is decked out like what I imagine a Trojan chain restaurant would be like, there are comfy booths, and big screen televisions showing ESPN and ESPN News non-stop. There's also the intangible cool factor of eating where the Trojan team eats.
Shortcomings: But you didn't honestly think this wouldn't come at a price did you? Galen Center will run you well over $10 for a decent sized meal. That's not terrible for being on campus, but the problem for students on a meal plan is that Galen Center doesn't accept Dining Dollars, only cash (or discretionary funds on a USC Card). Also, the kitchen is slow sometimes.

3) Armando's

Why it Made this List: This is another hidden gem on campus at USC. In fact it's very well hidden because it's just inside the maintenance parking lot across the street from the Lyon Center. The restaurant itself isn't much, a food truck parked in a parking lot. But it may be one of the best all-around dining experiences at USC. The truck is owned by Armando, a friendly cashier/restaurateur who seems to finish every sentence with "my friend". The food is a mix between Mexican cuisine and American treats. The USC Chicken sandwich, California Burger, and Macho Burrito are some of my personal favorites. While there is an extensive menu on the side of the truck, the cool part about Armando's is the secret menu. Trojan football fans can order a Taylor Mays, a Keith Rivers, or a Lendale White at Armando's (I don't remember what's in each one, except that there's generally a lot of meat). This is the place where Pete Carroll and his coaching staff get their breakfast burritos from in the mornings. The cost of all this is usually under $5, and I guarantee you won't get a better meal at that price or friendlier service anywhere else on campus.
Shortcomings: It's not as cheap as you might expect it to be. The line and wait times during a lunch time rush are generally pretty bad. Obviously you shouldn't eat here if you're looking for a sit down place.

2) Viztango Cafe

Why it Made this List: It made this list because goddamnit I love my Italian food. And there's no better place to grab a delicious, huge portion of pasta. Boy do they have a variety of pastas.... pesto sauces, red sauces, alfredo sauces, and pink sauces with a wide variety of proteins and pasta shapes. The Farfalle Pesto is a delicious mix of farfalle pasta, a pesto sauce, chicken, and sun dried tomatoes. The Linguini Seafood is linguine with a big mix of clams, shrimp, etc. with tomatos, basil, and a buttery sauce. But that's just two options from a huge picture menu that you can choose from. They have sandwiches and pizzas too, but I haven't tried them yet because there are so many damn pastas to try. The dining room is only ok, but the service is very fast.
Shortcomings: I wish it were open just a little bit later. It can be a little bit pricey, but considering the size of the portions and the fact that with a student a discount card you get a "small" Caesar salad and a bunch of garlic bread, I don't think it's a problem. The food does have a little too much oil a lot of the time though.

1) Parkside Restaurant

Why it Made this List: Anyone who knows USC might have a shocked look on their face right now. Wipe it off, stop buying the negative hype and read on. This is hands down the best quality and bang for your buck at USC as far as food goes. Parkside boasts a wide variety of delicious, perfectly portioned food in an all-you-can-eat style. They have unique cuisines and dishes. Mongolian, Vietnamese, Italian, it all changes from day to day while still maintaining the staples of pizza, burgers, fries, salads. The Tomato Basil soup is a keeper. There's a wide range of desserts too. Apple pie? All yours. Jello? Boring, but take your pick from a bunch of varieties. Ice cream sundae? Make your own! Fruit? Sure, ya damn health nut. Pudding? Yes. You get the idea. Don't forget to come in on Fridays for the best dessert on campus, Oreo pie. I think Parkside is unfairly criticized because people get bored with it after eating there on a meal plan day after day after day. I think that would be the case at just about any of the other restaurants on this list. The sheer value, quality and variety make this my top pick.
Shortcomings: For some ridiculous 'green' reason, Parkside decided to abolish trays. Considering the sheer amount of plates you have to grab to get your fill of Parkside food, this is completely impractical. I think USC did this as a way to cut down on costs rather than actually have a conscience surrounding the environment, but I digress. Also, silverware and condiments can be tough to find as their spread out around the dining room, making it a little inconvenient.

HONORABLE MENTIONS
Ground Zero Coffeehouse (If they had anything substantial foodwise they'd clearly make the list... Best milkshakes in Southern California, and easily the best milkshakes I've ever had)
Chipotle (Best burritos around campus! Too bad it's a chain)
Wok Crazy (Not enough value, but a pretty good Asian styled place)
In N' Out (One can dream right? Culver City ain't close enough! I need a Double Double Animal Style on Figueroa and Jefferson right now!!!)

DISHONORABLE MENTIONS
EVK (EVK sucks... It just does)

Later,
Alex

Top 5 Most Forgettable NFL/NBA/MLB/NHL Teams

When you take all four of the "big" pro sports in America, there are 122 teams in total. Yet only four of these teams can be a champion in any given year, and only 52 can make the playoffs. For those of you who know subtraction, that's 70 teams that watch the playoffs where all of us non-pro athletes do... from the couch. Some of the teams are going to get lost in the shuffle. The national media can't hype up all of them. While any good sports fan can probably recognize if a team name is correct or not, naming all of them off the top of your head is tougher than you might think. In order to see what teams are the most "forgettable", I tried to name all of the teams in each league and then looked at either the ones I named last or the ones I outright forgot. Here are some rules for how I picked through the teams:

1) Going division by division is a no-no. Yes, this would be a good way to be thorough, but I'm trying to pick through my own mind here and see which teams fall through the cracks, not make a complete list.

2) There are some biases that are unavoidable. Having not lived or attended games in the Midwest, South, and Mid-Atlantic regions of the US, I'm more prone to forget certain teams. That's just the way it is...

3) Pairs come naturally. If a city or a region or a state has two or more teams, I was a lot more likely to name all of them together. An unfortunate geographic reality...

4) This is not scientific at all... At ALL!

After my top 5 for each league I'm also going to give my best guess as to the teams I would've predicted would be the most easily forgettable.


National Football League (NFL)
MY LIST
5) New Orleans Saints - This was a weird one. I still don't know why this team eluded me. I pull for them every week and Reggie Bush (USC Heisman Trophy winner) is their tailback. It could be because they had such a mediocre season last year.

4) Tampa Bay Buccaneers - I grew up an hour from Tampa Bay and I still forgot that this team is here. They're not particularly interesting these days... a borderline playoff team in a pretty weak division. This team is overshadowed by the Miami Dolphins and college football in the state of Florida despite a Super Bowl championship this century.

3) Baltimore Ravens - This is sort of a forgettable city in and of itself, plus the team was 5-11 last season.

2) St. Louis Rams - The "Greatest Show on Turf" days are long gone. This is a terrible team in the middle of the country. Forgetting the Rams didn't really surprise me.

1) Washington Redskins - Lets see.... low-scoring offense, not a lot of big-name players, uninteresting team, racist team name, 3 rings but no Super Bowl trip since 1991. Plus they're easily

PREDICTED LIST
5) Carolina Panthers - Besides Steve Smith, is there really a big-name player on this team?

4) Houston Texans - This team doesn't have a winning history, many celebrity-type NFL players, and is the red-headed stepchild to the Dallas Cowboys in the state.

3) Cleveland Browns - Great fans, but this team flat-out stinks and isn't nearly as interesting as the train-wreck/jail-bound Cincinnati Bengals that they share the state with. Not helping their case is a total lack of a team logo/memorable helmet.

2) Washington Redskins - Yeah, they deserve to be about here.

1) Jacksonville Jaguars - Jacksonville just plain isn't a major-league city. This team is really the 2nd or 3rd most prominent NFL team in the state of Florida.


National Basketball Association (NBA)
MY LIST
5) Denver Nuggets - I must be really tired to forget this one. I've been to two home games, plus they have two star players in Carmelo Anthony and Allen Iverson.

4) Golden State Warriors - If this team were the Oakland Warriors or the San Francisco Warriors, I think I'd have remembered them more easily.

3) Utah Jazz - These are some of the most vicious fans in the NBA, but a good team that plays as a team doesn't make the Jazz a memorable team. The small market doesn't help either.

2) Washington Wizards - Forgetting about Washington D.C./Baltimore area teams is a running theme in this Top 5. I think if this team were still the Bullets I'd have forgotten about them too.

1) Charlotte Bobcats - Not even Michael Jordan makes me remember that this team exists. That's really really sad. God does their logo suck.


PREDICTED LIST
5) Indiana Pacers - Name 3 players on this team. If you're not a fan of the NBA or this team, then you probably can't. And no, Reggie Miller doesn't count.

4) Memphis Grizzlies - The University of Memphis basketball team is way more relevant than these hibernating grizzlies.

3) Atlanta Hawks - This may be one of the most poorly run organizations in professional sports.

2) Oklahoma City Thunder - OKC is here because the team name is brand new as is the location.

1) Charlotte Bobcats - I'm still not sure this isn't an ABA or D League team.


Major League Baseball (MLB)

MY LIST
5) Oakland Athletics - Billy Beane must do the most with the least out of any GM in baseball. Too bad that means the team is totally forgettable when they aren't any good (like right now)

4) Toronto Blue Jays - They're unique as the only Canadian team in the league and totally overshadowed by the rest of its division.

3) Minnesota Twins - I'm sorry I forgot this team because they're one of the classiest organizations in all of sports.

2) Detroit Tigers - Maybe I was prone to forget this team after I picked them to make it to win the AL Central before the season began.

1) Milwaukee Brewers - Yeah, I haven't really been to the Midwest much if you couldn't tell.


PREDICTED LIST
5) Pittsburgh Pirates - They haven't had a winning season in 16 years. It's a small market team as well.

4) Cincinnati Reds - Generic team name, haven't really been a factor in the World Series since 1990.

3) Seattle Mariners - This team holds the record for most wins in a regular season in major league history. Sadly, they choked that year, and they were pretty damn terrible this year too.

2) Florida Marlins - Judging by the fact that this team had fewer than 600 fans at one game, I think a lot of fans in Miami forget they're there too. This is in spite of winning 2 World Series during my lifetime.

1) Washington Nationals/Montreal Expos - A new stadium and a new home don't make up for how bad the Nationals are.

National Hockey League (NHL) - Abridged version
MY LIST
5) Tampa Bay Lightning

4) Washington Capitals

3) Buffalo Sabres

2) St. Louis Blues

1) Carolina Hurricanes


PREDICTED LIST
5) Phoenix Coyotes

4) Atlanta Thrashers

3) New York Islanders

2) Florida Panthers

1) Carolina Hurricanes

Hope you enjoyed it.... non-sports related one should be coming next week if I remember.
-Alex

Top 5 Places Nothing Good Ever Happens At

Remember as a kid being dragged around on errands on a beautiful Sunday? Remember hearing certain stores on the seemingly never-ending list and being happy to hear some and devastated to hear others? For me, Target was on the good list. It's a colorful store with a video game demo section and a significant toys department. There's things to do. What was (and still is) on the bad list? Well that's the point of this entry, so read on. Here are some ground rules.

1) If you thought these other lists were subjective.... this one takes the cake. It's based solely on my own experience, not any other criteria.

2) This list might make more sense if... you're a guy as you might see from a few entries.

3) Don't take things too literally. Obviously jail, and morgues are sad places, war-torn countries, etc. This is fine, but this list has more to do with outright annoying or deviously neutral locales.

Onward!

5) Hobby Lobby

This is sort of a throwaway item, as I don't really have 5 unique places that I could put on this list. Hobby Lobby is mainly here because I couldn't think of anything I'd actually buy here. I guess they do sell particularly strong varieties of model glue, but when your main featured sale is a big discount on "scrapbooking supplies", I don't feel particularly motivated to go inside and spend an afternoon. Speaking of which, there are few activities less interesting to me (and less manly) than cutting and re-gluing photos and words in cheesy, "heartwarming" arrangements. Maybe I'm just not an arts and crafts kind of guy.

4) NASCAR Races

Alright, someone help me with this logic. I'm going to pay to go to a mercilessly loud place, sit in the hot sun in some cases, and get crap spilled on me by wasted fans... all so I can watch cars drive really fast but in a constant left turn. At least as far as variety goes, most people's daily commute to work is far more interesting. Maybe I'm missing something, but I don't get the appeal in seeing a bunch of good ol' boys spin around in circles. You know it's a redneck sport when the main entertainment draw is the possibility that someone screws up, crashes their car, and possibly dies in the process. The common defense NASCAR fans give is that if you know the sport, there's a lot of strategy to it. Maybe so, but I'm not sure I really care to know the sport any more than knowing it's not my cup of tea. Throw in the drunken redneck, jock-sniffing and loyal-to-the-grave fans, a dash of excessive patriotism, and the significant possibility that you may go deaf or get skin cancer sitting out in the sun and you've got one fantastic time don't you? Is there anywhere else I'd hate to be more? Three places perhaps...

3) Orthodontist

I don't know about you, but I sure as hell am not a morning person. Any class before ten and it's a crap shoot if I'm not still fast asleep in bed. Hey, early birds may get all of the worms, but late birds get plenty of food that tastes a whole lot better (especially late birds who live near busy outdoor cafe's. Thus, any place that forces you to get up early is likely to make my shit list. At least for my specific orthodontist, there was no flexibility with dates and times. They weren't there Fridays... or most Mondays... or any time after school got out at 3:15. Nope, here are the options the orthodontist often gave me: a) Tuesday at 7 am b) Wednesday during class or c) we won't fix that intricate meta contraption glued to your teeth that's been poking you in the cheek for the last 5 days.
Now if this were life-saving stuff, I might be more inspired, but it's not. All an orthodontist can really fix is a bit of an appearance issue regarding your teeth. Of course this is only after going through you a multi-year period of borderline evil dietary restrictions, social awkwardness, impaired speech, and occasional intense pain. Ahhh, the things we go through for straight teeth. As humans, there is just about nothing that minor that we go through that much trouble to solve. There has to be a better way. Until then, it's just a painful series of trips for the teenage crowd.

2) Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV)

If you didn't see this one coming, then you either aren't from the United States, have never been here or have terrible instincts. DMV's are a lot of fun if you like waiting in queues. In Los Angeles to switch my driver's license from a New Mexico license to a California one, I literally waited in a long line just to get a number to... wait for it... wait in another line. Following that I was sent upstairs to... you guessed it... wait in another line. I then filled out some paperwork which, to turn in, I had to wait... everybody now... in another line. Nope, it doesn't end there. I waited in another pair of lines before my 4-hour odyssey to the DMV was finished.
There are other DMV's in other states where you may wait in fewer lines, but that's made up by time spent just flat out sitting around wishing you'd brought something entertaining to do and generally hating life. Not to mention that the employees working at these fine locations aren't usually the happiest people. This just adds to the collective depression and frustration that DMV's seem to inspire. I strongly considered this for #1, but...

1) J.C. Penney

... there's no beating this hellhole. This place is the inspiration for this list. I'd have to go clothes shopping as a kid and this would often be the destination. It got to the point where, when my mom would tell me that we were going here, I would tell my mom, "Nothing good ever happened at a J.C. Penney." I stand by that statement to that day. J.C. Penney is a gathering place for all of the minor annoyances in the world to congregate and mockingly laugh at the poor mortals that come through looking to scratch a nagging consumer itch. Here is my list of grievances against this secretly terrible force.
A) It's never a short trip. A trip to J.C. Penney is usually between half an hour and a full hour long. Oh and what a time it is. Trying on endless dorky clothes, most of which don't fit, looking for that misfit piece of clothing that looks half decent in those lying mirrors. Speaking of that...
B) They don't have my size. J.C Penney carries clothing for fat people, or at least people larger than myself (most of whom, in all fairness, aren't really fat). Maybe I'm just difficult (27-28X34 pant size, Adult S-M shirt size), but when a store doesn't have a single stylish small shirt, but plenty in XXXXXXL, it's frustrating. For pants, don't even ask. They don't make clothes for people who are skinny, period. I don't care if you make all of your money selling jeans to fat people trying to get a better self-image, throw me a bone here.
C) Gratingly annoying advertising. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWFsOkvGAug&feature=related . Check out :40, :49, :51. Does that appeal to anyone but parents who think their kids go to the same school from Grease? Way to aim for the stupid, cutesy demographic J.C. Penney.
D) Slogans. Here are some J.C. Penney advertising slogans during the history of the company. "It's All Inside" (...just not at this store...), "Every Day Matters" (...so don't waste yours here...), "We Know What You're Looking For" (...but we don't have it here...), and the painfully obvious "This is J.C. Penney" (...run while you still can...). Hope you didn't pay too much for those J.C. Penney. I've got a good one for your next ad campaign. "J.C. Penney... Where Fun Goes to Die".
E) Active boredom. At the DMV, you can read a book or play a video game. At J.C. Penney, your full attention is required. No idle time, just merciless shopping.
F) 'Helpful' Employees. If any of these poor souls wanted to really help, they'd just point to the exit.
G) They're based in my least favorite state in the United States. Texas.
J.C. Penney.... you can go screw yourself. I hope I'm smart enough to marry someone who wouldn't force the kids to go to this place.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Arby's, Linens 'N Things, WWE/UFC matches, Hookah Bars, Yoshinoya, Sunglasses Hut, gun shows, Detroit, Tobacco shops, Hummer dealerships.

Top 5 Prime Sports Relocation/Expansion Locations

With this summer's move of the Seattle SuperSonics to Oklahoma City, the ever-present threat of a team moving away from it's fanbase has been reignited. While there aren't too many teams in as imminent of danger as the Sonics were, it is interesting to look at some possibilities of future locations for new pro sports teams or new homes for established ones. To keep things from getting too complex, I've excluded intercontinental destinations for expansion. I'm also only including the three big leagues likely to expand, the NFL, MLB, NBA, and NHL. Not too many rules for this list, just one man's opinion.

5) Milwaukee, WI

Metropolitan Area Population: 1.97 million

League That Should Move Here: NHL

Reasons Why: Milwaukee is a larger city than you might think. It ranks 34th out of US media markets, higher than other sports markets such as Oklahoma City, New Orleans, and Salt Lake City. However, the size is not the reason this move would make sense. Cold weather markets tend to support hockey teams far better than teams in Southern markets. One of the newer additions to the NHL, the Minnesota Wild, ranked tenth in attendance in the league. Hockey fans in the northern Midwest, bitterly cold areas of the US, have a better hockey tradition and a better tie to the game. The Wisconsin Badgers, located less than 90 minutes away, have a hockey tradition that rivals most schools. The biggest reason this move would make sense though is the quality of the fans in Wisconsin. The Green Bay Packers fanbase is downright rabid. The Milwaukee Brewers, despite being located in a much smaller market than most teams, are 9th in MLB attendance.

Reasons Why Not: Can Milwaukee support a basketball team, a baseball team, a pro football team, and a hockey team in the region? While baseball attendance is good, basketball attendance is bad (the Bucks were 22nd in the league last season). This can be disregarded a bit as hockey makes more sense in this market than basketball anyway. What cannot be disregarded is that Milwaukee has a minor league hockey team, the Milwaukee Admirals, who barely drew in the top half of the league for fans this past season. Is the interest for hockey here strong enough?

Teams That Could Be Moved Here: Nashville Predators, Columbus Blue Jackets, Phoenix Coyotes, Florida Panthers

4) San Diego, CA

Metropolitan Area Population: 2.94 million

League That Should Come Here: NBA

Reasons Why: Yes, I know the Clippers were here back in the late 70's and 80's, but things have changed. The city is one of the ten largest in the United States and like there is regional passion for baseball in the Northeast and football in the South, there is plenty of love for basketball out West. The rivalries would be fierce, especially with the nearby Lakers. While the Clippers could/should move here, I would hope that San Diego could get a less dysfunctional/cursed/poorly-run franchise. There is enough money and enough people here to easily support three pro franchises. On paper, this looks like a pretty easy decision for the NBA.

Reasons Why Not: California fans are notoriously fair-weather fans. If a team's good, they're there. If they're bad, the team can't give tickets away fast enough. Speaking of fair weather, could the team convince city's residents that they should come inside to see a game on a beautiful day in San Diego. An outdoor arena could be an interesting idea for this market. Plus the team most likely to move here, the Clippers, would draw a far more lukewarm reaction. Also, after recently funding Petco Park, would the city be willing to fund a major arena?

Teams That Could Move Here: Los Angeles Clippers, Sacramento Kings

3) San Antonio, TX/Austin, TX

Metropolitan Area Population: 1.94 million/1.59 million

League That Should Expand Here: NFL

Reasons Why: Texas loves football. It doesn't matter if it's high school, college, or pro football, if it's a pigskin and a 100 yard field, they're on it. The Dallas Cowboys are the most valuable franchise in US pro sports. With a competitive team last season, the Houston Texans have come into their own, ranking 11th in attendance last season. Football fans in Texas are passionate and many of them have money behind them to make big things happen. San Antonio and Austin are located far enough away from both of these markets (3 hours from Houston, 4 hours from Dallas) that they can easily support a pro franchise. Austin is currently the largest city in the United States without a pro franchise in any league. The San Antonio Spurs have already found plenty of success even being in a smaller market. Helping all of this is the fact that San Antonio is one of the fastest growing cities in the United States. Either of these cities would be a great candidate for an NFL expansion team, but not both at the same time. I think there would be a huge public reception in both cases. This region of Texas is prime territory for more pro sports teams.

Reasons Why Not: Could the team survive being in the shadow of two more established teams, especially during the likely lean first few years post-expansion? Does the more artistic nature of Austin dampen the non-college fans in the area and make the team less of a fit? Other than that, this seems like a pretty good fit to me.

2) Los Angeles, CA

Metropolitan Area Population: 17.76 million

League That Should Come Here: NFL

Reasons Why: The Los Angeles area (including Anaheim) has: two NHL teams, two NBA teams, two MLB teams.... and zero NFL teams. As the second largest market in the country, it only seems to make sense that the largest league would at least have some presence here. It's too big of a market for the NFL not to take advantage of it. As long as the stadium is located somewhere close to money-rich areas of town or even downtown. There is plenty of love for football in Los Angeles. USC's football team is one of the most popular teams in the city. Both the city and the NFL would benefit from having pro football return to the City of Angels.

Reasons Why Not: The third time may not be the charm. LA/Anaheim used to have two football teams, the Rams and Raiders. They both moved for various reasons including sinking attendance and old facilities. If you thought San Diego has a problem with fair weather fans, Los Angeles is twice as bad. There are almost too many choices for LA residents and unless the football team is any good, fans won't be there. Frustratingly slow local politics also don't make this as appealing of a location as you might think. Not to mention that LA already has a pro football team in the mighty USC Trojans.

1) Las Vegas, NV

Metropolitan Area Population: 1.78 million

Leagues That Should Expand Here: NBA, MLB, NFL (in that order)

Reasons Why: I think this is almost inevitable, especially for the NBA, and if one of the major leagues enters the market the rest may follow. Las Vegas is one of the fastest growing cities in the United States, with plenty of money in the area. There are plenty of wealthy young sports fans who have shown that they don't mind dropping a few hundred or thousand dollars. Tourism is a huge part of the economy and visiting fans may be inclined to check out the team's games. Season ticket sales would be strong, especially amongst casino owners looking to impress big spenders. The city itself would attract star free agents to come and play in the city itself. A move here appears imminent for the NBA. The 2007 All Star Game, Summer League, and 2008 US Olympic Basketball Training Grounds were all hosted here. It flat out makes sense, and whichever team owner ends up with a team here will be very lucky indeed. This would be a smart move for the MLB and the NFL for many of the reasons listed above, but each has their own unique problems that I'll get into in....

Reasons Why Not: Associating sports with gambling is a messy issue in American sports culture. Any team located here will have to be extra careful not to get in bed with the local casinos. The mere juxtaposition of the two will cause endless conspiracy theories. Baseball and football each have major problems potentially moving to Sin City. Baseball sells itself on tradition more than any other sport and its fans have a long history of turning away from the game at the slightest suspicion of games being fixed. Not helping this are stodgy baseball owners unwilling to break the status quo or think in unique ways. Baseball is stuck in the past, while Vegas is a younger city of the future. The NFL has a similar, albeit smaller problem associating itself with gambling. The main issue the NFL would face is one of image. The league has had a major image problem in the last few years and reputation-minded commissioner Roger Gooddell may be unwilling to put players in a situation where they're likely to get into trouble.

Teams That Could Move Here: Milwaukee Bucks, Sacramento Kings, Oakland A's

HONORABLE MENTIONS (and why they didn't make the cut):

Anaheim, CA - NBA, NFL (fair-weather fans, attendance issues, congested sports area)
Brooklyn, NY - NBA, MLB (NBA is already moving here in 2010, no baseball team could ever replace the Dodgers)
Providence, RI - MLB (it's already a little too cramped here, is the population large/interested enough?)
Seattle, WA - NBA, NHL (not enough interest in either sport, team might have a cheapened feel in replacing the old Sonics)

See you next week with a random list of my choosing.
-Alex

Top 5 Odd/Funny Things You Might Not Notice When Watching This YouTube Video the First Time

Hey everyone,
Check out this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbad22CKlB4
Yeah it's pretty tame, kind of boring. Neil Sedaka doesn't really inspire a whole lot. Maybe you liked the song, maybe you didn't. Either way, this video is teeming with hidden oddities and bizarre things that you probably didn't notice watching it the first time. It also shows off a lot of differences between music videos today and in the 60's.

The items are in chronological order. No rules for this one, just enjoy.

5) Neil Yells at Someone in the Middle of the Song.

Time it Occurs: 55 seconds in.
If you couldn't tell he was lipsynching in the first place, watch closely at this point as Sedaka... supposedly in the middle of the song, turns his head, yells a few words at someone, before quickly swerving his head back and continuing singing. What was he yelling? I have no idea. Why did he decide to yell at that specific point? I have no idea. But this makes Ashlee Simpson's lipsynching look believable. It's pretty damn terrible.

4) Backup Singers? Barely...

Time: 1:54 to 2:04
And again, if you didn't realize he was lipsynching, surely you can tell these two are. They aren't even trying. I'm not sure they really know the words. The one on the right is especially bad. She giggles, turns around to talk to someone, looks down, fixes her hair. She does everything but move her lips and... you know, sing. At 2:03 you can even see Neil shake his head, probably thinking about the many ways he could kill them after the show. Can you imagine this type of thing on TV nowadays? Maybe as a bad parody...

3) That Dude's Either Really Bored or Going to Brutally Murder Someone

Time: 2:05 to 2:09
Usually people in the background of most music videos are smiling, happy to be there, or partying. This guy is the absolute opposite of that. He looks like he's either:
a) Emo
b) Going to strangle a baby
c) Bored as hell
d) All of the above.
Maybe he just doesn't like the song.

2) And She Can't Dance Either....

Time: 2:11 to 2:17
This backup dancer/singer can't do anything right can she? She figures she can't sing so she tries dancing... in the most shy, half-assed way you'll ever see. I'm just glad whatever mild swaying move she's doing didn't catch on in the 60's... It looks like she's trying to hide an erection. I'm really starting to wonder where they found this girl.

1) "That's a Gas, Man"

Time: 2:45 to 2:47
I'm not really sure who came up with that ridiculous phrase or how it came about. It doesn't really make a lot of sense. In any case, the awesome 6o's host guy is right. Just like most forms of gas, Sedaka stunk. Also, look at the picture at right. What's his hand doing in his mouth? Bizarre bizarre bizarre.

I'm out... A sports-related and far less random one coming up next time.
Later,
Alex
P.S. For anyone back at USC, I'm back tomorrow night.

Top 5 Weirdest Minor League Baseball Names

Hey!
Minor League Baseball is a staple of small towns around America. As small towns can get a little bit crazy, it's not surprising that some of these towns come up with odd names for their baseball teams. It's often all they've got, and naming something after it's major league affiliate can be extremely boring. For those of you unaware as to how the minor leagues work, they are basically support teams for MLB teams. They play at several levels, rookie, A (with many variations in terms of season length and level), AA, and AAA, with AAA being the closest to the major leagues. Each team in these leagues is affiliated with a major league team that can take its players at any time or send down players for development.

That's some basic background... here are the rules for this list:

1) What's weird to you may make perfect sense in that town's context. A name like the Cedar Rapids Kernels looks really odd at first glance, but when you consider that Iowa is known for it's corn the name fits the region. The Brevard County Manatees sounds like a dumb name too, but since the team plays in Florida they don't make this list. That doesn't mean their logo doesn't suck. Imagine a manatee trying to throw a fastball. I bet the players wearing that logo can't wait to swap jerseys.

2) But there are limits. The top team on this list sort of works given it's location in the US, but ultimately it's way too weird to not make the cut.

3) Putting yourself in someone else's shoes helps. Imagining myself rooting for the team in question helped determine who made this list and who didn't.

Alright, onto the list.

5) Fort Myers Miracle

Location: Fort Myers, FL
League: Florida State League (Advanced A)
Affiliated With: Minnesota Twins
Had Name Since: 1992
Why It's Weird: This name is weird because it doesn't make sense on several levels. If you were a fan of the team, think about how a "Go Miracle" chant just seems kind of awkward. Unlike other team names that don't end in an 's' (like Orlando Magic, Utah Jazz, Minnesota Wild, etc.) which are often ambiguous as to whether they're singular or plural, Miracle is explicitly singular. The Fort Myers Miracles would make a little more sense. Ironically, there is nothing miraculous about the Miracle's play on the field. They have yet to win a league championship. This name makes a little more sense when you realize that when the team was renamed the Miracle, they were the Miami Miracle. At least that name has alliteration going for it. This one doesn't have much.

4) Clinton LumberKings

Location: Clinton, IA
League: Midwest League (A)
Affiliated With: Texas Rangers
Had Name Since: 1994
Why It's Weird: Imagine that the Chicago Cubs, Pittsburgh Pirates, or Kansas City Royals changed their name to the Winners. Imagine if the New York Yankees changed their name to the Penny Pinchers. Imagine if the Miami Heat moved to Buffalo and didn't change their name. Clinton is not a king of much of anything. Including: winning (only 1 league championship 3 years before they had this name), lumber (the city was known as a major lumber center in the 19th century, but the forests have been majorly depleted since the 20th century began), and kings. This name is very out of date, and is a little delusional. Plus, it's dangerously close to the slightly cheesier Clinton SofaKings.

3) Everett AquaSox

Location: Everett, WA
League: Northwest League (A)
Affiliated With: Seattle Mariners
Had Name Since: 1995
Why It's Weird: This is sort of one of those names that you can just look at it and know it's a little weird. Red Sox and White Sox, if they weren't so throughly bathed in tradition, would be odd names. Say it out loud while spelling it right. "Go Socks!!!" I know some people say sports is really just rooting for laundry, but come on now... Without the tradition the name is just ridiculous. I might buy it a little bit if their logo was a blue (aqua) sock. But no, it's a frog licking a baseball. This just adds to the weird factor.

2) Jamestown Jammers

Location: Jamestown, NY
League: New York-Penn League (A)
Affiliated With: Florida Marlins
Had Name Since: 1994
Why It's Weird: To truly understand how weird this name is, check out some names that the team had to reject in a vote. The Furniture Makers, Jimmies, Lucys, and Steamers. Out of those names they did the best they could, but that's not saying much for their options. This name sort of has a cool alliteration going for it, but with a mascot made of a bundle of grapes, no clear or definite meaning, the name is just downright bizarre. Their mascot's name, by the way, is Bubba Grape, the Baseball Ape.

1) Montgomery Biscuits

Location: Montgomery, AL
League: Southern League (AA)
Affiliated With: Tampa Bay Rays
Had Name Since: 2oo4
Why It's Weird: Boy, this name is absolutely perfect regionally. It fits in well with the South, southern cooking, and the down home nature of Alabama. But even that isn't enough to keep this from being by a long shot, the weirdest name in minor league baseball in a crowded field. Think of it this way. Most sports teams have tough, intimidating, traditional, or regional names. Biscuits are soft, fluffy, and delicious. Throw on top of that that they're a side item too. I can't help but think of a player who just joined the team having to tell the local media "I'm proud to be a biscuit." This name is hilarious, bizarre, and without a doubt, #1.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Modesto Nuts (Somewhat regional name, but still pretty funny)
Kannapolis Intimidators (Actually named after Dale Earnhardt... seriously)
Altoona Curve (Gets their name from a famous horshoe curve in a nearby railroad)
Savannah Sand Gnats (They may not beat you, but they sure as hell will annoy the crap out of you)
Albuquerque Isotopes (Made-up Fact: Only 4% of Isotopes fans really know what an isotope is)
Asheville Tourists (I hope I'm never a tourist in Asheville)
Toledo Mud Hens (With their actual mascot... Mud-donna)
Inland Empire 66ers of San Bernadino (These guys seem to be channeling the nearby Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim... even though they're affiliated with the Dodgers)

Hope you enjoyed, a new post should be coming tomorrow night.
-Alex

Why You Haven't Seen a Post on Here in a Little While

Hi there! I'll keep this short.
I haven't had internet.
Expect two/three lists sometime between now and this Monday.
Thank you for your patience.
-Alex